Silently you look around you in your room. One of his / her shirts, a book, a bottle of perfume, a photo … The pain shoots through your heart when you gaze falls on it. Tears well up your escape in your eyes and a sob throat. You bury your head in your pillow while you give in to your grief. How did it come to this? How is it that such a thing is beautifully ripped out of your life at one time?
Love is powerful enough to make you feel like you can handle the whole world, but also to you so deeply to drag in the shade, that you do not know how to see the sun. And then what? What if the person with whom you have a – you thought – the unconditional love shared suddenly no longer belongs to you? A solution: go into therapy!
Acknowledge your problems
No, it’s not exactly normal if you know you three weeks after you broke up still holding hidden in your bedroom, hiding under the covers. And no, it is not normal that you can work a miss, your friends and family not return calls and skipping meals.
A breakup hurts – your heart is shattered and you feel like you know what, suddenly slipped out of your hands took for granted. You suddenly seem to have lost control, and the response you keep stabbing in idleness. You do not know how to move forward, now you that one important person is no longer on your side.
Of course, you can you totally surrender to your grief, indeed: it is your right recommended! But also realize that there comes a time for you to turn over your grief and move on. If you can not? Acknowledge to yourself then that it does not go higher; acknowledge your problems!
It works not only
Heartbreak is something very personal, because who can actually really understand what you are going through exactly? Every relationship is different because each person is different. Prefer to close you, therefore, everyone outside, and keep you rather hang out in your own dark world. But at some point, it’s time you accepted that you need others, and overcome your heartbreak you are not only going to succeed.
go into therapy
However, the acceptance of assistance in the form of their family or friends is something quite different than embracing professional help. “Why should I go to therapy? There’s nothing wrong with me? ” ‘re probably defensive when someone suggests it. However, you absolutely do not need a mental disorder to go into therapy. There are many more types of therapy.
Therapy focuses on a person’s cure or treatment, be it a disorder or of (love) grief. Through therapy, you can overcome your grief, by yourself and improve your thoughts and/or attitude. It is also certainly not an exception – you would still be surprised how many other people are in therapy!
In therapy I recommend if you have long suffered from heartbreak, so then it really goes over months or years.
Making a choice
Therapy for heartbreak is effective because you’re talking to an outsider. Someone who will not judge you; someone out there just for you is to listen to your inner struggles. You’ll be more willing to tell you things that you would never dare lose to your friends or your parents.
It is therefore very important that you find someone that you feel comfortable with. It’s not bad if you do not feel very much at ease with a particular therapist. He/she will actually not take it personally if you say you prefer to another wants to talk. What it counts is that you will be happy; you do not go to therapy to please others.
Apply what you’ve learned
It seems to speak for itself, but it is sometimes more difficult than it sounds: apply what you learn during your therapy sessions. You may think that therapy will heal all wounds, but the point of therapy is that the advice to put into action. Talking, you express doubts and pain, obviously helps a lot, but it is not (always) enough.
Suppose your therapist asks you to collect all the pictures you have of your ex and place in a confined area. That is not as easy as it seems because you are really willing to put all the tangible love of you under lock and key?
Therapy not only require your physical presence but also your mental effort, you will get over your heartbreak. And how horrible the advice and instructions of your therapist may seem, you realize that it’s for your own good to follow them. Your therapist can help you, but only as long as you also cooperate themselves.
You can find more information in this article handle about heartbreak.
# 1 Change your environment
If your therapist is asking for you to get rid of ‘souvenirs’ of your love: do! In case your ex and you have lived together in the house/apartment where you live at this very moment, you will, therefore, any changes in your environment need to apply. This does not necessarily mean that you should go hunting for a new home, changes can also be more subtle (and cheaper).
In other words, replace the poster or painting that your ex was so beautiful, or throw the books and DVDs that he/she has left on Marketplace. And just in case, you really want to be as thorough: burned ritual / her remaining shirts or gifts for you. And if it fits in your budget: replace your entire bed/mattress – like something you remember your ex, that’s it.
And yet, do not be too rigorous throwing away (or burning) of his / her belongings. Little things, like a poem that he/she has written to you, and (some of) your pictures often most do together, and you can never get it back. One option is to stop those little memories in a box in the attic. Later you will maybe just a smile can watch.
# 2 Find an outlet
With the breakup of a relationship and the accompanying loss of a loved one, get a lot of feelings of frustration and helplessness. Powerlessness about the fact that you finally can really nothing to do you guys broke up. And the fact that you can not afford him/her to miss nevertheless because it will not bring back those still with you.
Instead of suffering in silence and make yourself crazy with thoughts to you turns into a walking, ticking time bomb of frustrated, you can also look for an outlet. One that will not harm others, like when you finally explode in a series of insults and accusations that actually absolutely not addressed to the recipient.
Try your sports; depletes your body, and deprive yourself the opportunity to meditate (too much). Or throw yourself completely on a hobby. Have you always been fond of drawing? Buy a sketchbook and get started! Or find a new hobby; try new things, so you do not just sit moping, and you consume energy in a much more useful way. Learn to relax!
# 3 Upgrade yourself!
Nothing screams “I have no respect for myself!” as bad as hiding yourself at home. Do not let yourself languish because of a failed relationship, but see it rather as an opportunity to (re) appreciate yourself. In any relationship, you learn something new about yourself, both your good and your bad points. Embrace your good, and work on it to improve your bad!
however, accept it as something you can not, and learn just love yourself despite your weaknesses – no one is perfect. Learn to value yourself so inwardly (and appearance). There is only one you, and you will really need to do it anyway. Thus, you have a lot more self-confident and surer of yourself, which is also much more attractive for a potential new partner.
# 4 Seek support from family and friends
The whole point of therapy is of course that you talk about your problems with a stranger. Yet it is also very nice to know that you can rely on your family and friends. After all, they invest time in you because they love you, not because they get paid. You have obviously not been to expose your deepest secrets, but simply (more) spending time with them is enough.
Besides, you will fall into the pit slower at the breakdown of a relationship, if you know that your family and friends are behind you. Because of a good relationship with them, you can also find a much healthier romantic relationship after keeping. You then, in fact, teaches you that you are not only your partner for love dependent, so he / she feels less example suffocated in your relationship, and failure problems.
# 5 Start dating again
Sometimes you can you turn away the best on an ex when you notice that he/she is not the only one who ever could have romantic feelings for you. Only your chances of a relationship with your ex are misjudged, not your chances of a relationship in general!
Dating does not mean that you immediately enter into a new relationship. By dating meet new people, do new experiences, and learn to appreciate yourself more. Sometimes it is easier to appreciate something about yourself when another you notes. So Do not dwell in the past, but look ahead – and find someone where it clicks it!
Instead of learning to accept that the relationship is over, you can of course also to fight to get your ex back. How do you get this done, TW Jackson, teaches you his ebook “The Magic of MAKING UP“: The Ultimate Proven Method For Break Up, Divorce, or Lovers Rejection.